Opening Night & No Cast To Be Found

Scene 1

Scene opens with Director and Writer setting up the stage and taking care of last minute details.

DIRECTOR: Where is the podium?

WRITER: Behind you, to the left.

Director turns, sees it, and places it at center stage. Pair finish the stage dressing and brush themselves off. They take a moment to admire their handiwork.

DIRECTOR: So, when does the cast arrive?

WRITER: (looks at watch) 25 minutes ago.

Director nods. Both pause. Then they look at each other, shocked.

DIRECTOR: 25 minutes ago?! But, the show?!

WRITER: Maybe they're in the library with Colonel Mustard and the wrench.

DIRECTOR: Well?! (waves her off) Go look!

Writer runs off. Director crosses his arms, shakes his head, and sighs. Writer runs back.

WRITER: No cast there. Should I check the conservatory? I never did trust that Miss Scarlet.

DIRECTOR: No, that won't be necessary. How much time until curtain?

WRITER: (looks at watch) Five minutes ago.

Director and Writer share a look of horror and slowly turn to face the audience.

DIRECTOR: (smiles grandly) Welcome to the show. Before we begin, I'd like to share a few words about the program.

Director walks calmly to the podium and grips the edges tightly. Writer inches stage right a few paces before running the rest of the way.

TO BE CONTINUED...